Mother's Day Humor....Words that you or I would commonly use for one meaning,
have a completely different meaning to parents in a family...
BOTTLE FEEDING: an opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2
DEFENSE: what you'd better have around the yard if you're going to let the
children play outside.
DROOLING: how teething babies wash their chins.
DUMB WAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to
keep you from falling into financial disaster.
FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when a baby doesn't appreciate the strained
FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though
they're sure you're not raising them right.
HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
IMPREGNABLE: a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we
LOOK OUT!: what it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
OWWW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings.
PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own.
PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: a contradiction in terms.
PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes.
SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your
last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
STOREROOM: the distance required between the supermarket aisles so that
children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
TEMPER TANTRUMS: what you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the
THUNDERSTORM: a chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed.
TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those
familiar grunting noises.
VERBAL: able to whine in words.
WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house.
WHOOPS: an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge".Don't forget Mother's Day this Sunday, May 11th!!!
Author:Brandi Chapman Phone: 281-682-6069 Dated: May 5th 2014 Views: 3,272 About Brandi: ...
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